A Convert’s Guide to Navigating Catholic Parish Life (Without Feeling Lost)

Converting to Catholicism is a deeply personal and often transformative experience. But after the Easter Vigil and the initial excitement of joining the Church, many converts find themselves wondering, What now? The structure, traditions, and rhythms of parish life can feel overwhelming, especially for those coming from non-liturgical backgrounds. This guide is designed to help new Catholics integrate into parish life with confidence, avoiding the common pitfalls of feeling isolated or unsure of where they belong.

1. Understanding Parish Life: It’s More Than Just Sunday Mass (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2177)

One of the biggest shifts for new Catholics is realizing that parish life extends beyond Sunday Mass. While Mass is the heart of Catholic worship, parishes are communities with ongoing ministries, social events, and spiritual formation opportunities.

What to Expect at a Parish

• Regular Mass Schedules – Most parishes offer multiple Mass times, including daily Mass, which is a great way to deepen your spiritual life.
• Sacramental Life – Confession, Eucharistic adoration, baptisms, weddings, and funerals all play an integral role in parish life.
• Ministries and Groups – Bible studies, service groups, and community outreach provide ways to connect beyond the pews.
• Liturgical Seasons and Events – Advent, Lent, Holy Days of Obligation, and feast days bring unique traditions and celebrations.

Your parish is more than just a place of worship—it is a spiritual home. Engaging with the community fosters deeper connections and enriches your faith journey.

2. Finding Your Place in the Parish

Many converts experience a post-RCIA void—a feeling of spiritual drift after completing their formal instruction. If this happens to you, don’t panic. The key is to take the next step in deepening your faith and relationships within the parish.

Ways to Get Involved:

• Join a Ministry – Whether you feel drawn to liturgical service (lector, choir, altar server) or outreach (food pantry, pro-life ministry, St. Vincent de Paul Society), your gifts have a place in the Church.
• Find a Catholic Study Group – Bible studies, book clubs, or RCIA follow-up programs can provide ongoing formation and fellowship.
• Volunteer for Parish Events – Helping at festivals, fish fries, and fundraising events is a great way to meet people and serve the community.
• Attend Adoration or Prayer Groups – Spending time before the Blessed Sacrament or joining a Rosary group fosters both spiritual growth and connection with fellow Catholics.

The Church is not just a place to attend—it is a place to belong. Stepping forward will open doors to meaningful friendships and a deeper relationship with God.

3. Understanding Catholic Culture and Etiquette (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2142-2167)

For many converts, Catholic customs can feel foreign at first. Whether it’s knowing when to kneel, understanding feast days, or learning the unwritten rules of parish life, here are some practical insights:

Common Practices to Know:

• Genuflecting and Bowing – Catholics genuflect before entering a pew if the tabernacle is present and bow before receiving the Eucharist.
• Sign of the Cross – This sacred gesture is a visible expression of faith, used in prayer and worship.
• Receiving the Eucharist – Catholics may receive on the tongue or in the hand, but should always do so reverently.
• Holy Days of Obligation – These are special days outside of Sunday when Catholics are required to attend Mass.
• Fasting and Abstinence – Fridays in Lent require abstinence from meat, and Ash Wednesday and Good Friday include fasting.

Catholicism is rich in tradition, and while it may seem overwhelming at first, these practices soon become second nature.

4. Building Catholic Friendships (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1939-1942)

One of the biggest challenges for converts is forming authentic friendships within the Church. Unlike some Protestant communities, Catholic parishes don’t always have built-in social structures. Friendships often develop through shared service, prayer, and participation.

Tips for Making Catholic Friends:

• Attend Parish Socials – Coffee and donuts after Mass, parish dinners, and other gatherings are great places to start conversations.
• Seek Out Fellow Converts – Many converts share similar struggles and can offer guidance.
• Talk to the Priest or Deacon – They often know of groups or opportunities that align with your interests.
• Get Involved in Small Groups – Whether it’s a men’s or women’s group, a young adult gathering, or a prayer circle, smaller groups make it easier to form connections.

Relationships take time, but intentional engagement creates lasting bonds.

5. Avoiding Common Pitfalls

1. Expecting the Parish to “Come to You”

Unlike some Protestant churches that assign mentors or actively recruit newcomers into small groups, Catholic parishes often operate on an opt-in model. Take initiative—attend events, introduce yourself, and look for ways to contribute.

2. Becoming Overwhelmed by Catholic Devotions

The Church offers countless devotions, but you don’t need to embrace them all at once. Focus on what draws you closer to God rather than feeling pressure to adopt every practice immediately.

3. Letting Fear of Mistakes Hold You Back

Catholicism is full of lifelong learners. No one expects perfection—only a heart willing to grow in faith. Engage confidently, knowing that missteps are part of the journey.

4. Isolating Yourself Spiritually

If you struggle with doubts or difficulties, don’t keep them to yourself. Seek guidance from a priest, a spiritual director, or trusted Catholic friends. Faith is meant to be lived in community.

6. Growing Deeper in Your Faith (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2650-2651)

Catholicism is a lifelong journey of growth. After RCIA, your spiritual formation continues.

Ways to Continue Growing:

• Develop a Prayer Routine – Daily prayer, whether through Scripture, the Rosary, or silent meditation, deepens your faith.
• Read Catholic Books – Classics like Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales or The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis offer timeless wisdom.
• Learn About the Saints – The saints provide examples of faith in action, offering inspiration for daily life.
• Stay Rooted in the Sacraments – Frequent confession and regular reception of the Eucharist provide grace for the journey.
• Ask Questions – The depth of Catholic teaching ensures there is always more to discover.

Final Encouragement: You Belong Here (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1267-1269)

If you’re a new Catholic feeling a bit lost, take heart—you are not alone. Every Catholic, even cradle Catholics, had to learn these rhythms at some point. The Church is vast and ancient, but it is also your home. Step forward, engage, and trust that God has a place for you here.

What aspects of parish life have you found most challenging? How have you navigated them?

Is It Wrong to Question God? What Scripture Says About Doubt

Experiencing doubt and questioning one's faith are common aspects of the human spiritual journey. Throughout the Bible, several figures express their uncertainties and seek understanding from God. These narratives offer insight into how questioning can coexist with faith.

Biblical Instances of Questioning God

• Job’s Lament: Job, a righteous man who faced immense suffering, openly questioned God’s justice and reasons for his afflictions. In Job 10:3, he asks, “Is it good for You that You should oppress, that You should despise the work of Your hands and smile on the counsel of the wicked?” Despite his profound anguish and questioning, Job’s story concludes with a deeper understanding of God’s sovereignty and his own limitations (Job 42:1-6).

• Habakkuk’s Inquiry: The prophet Habakkuk challenged God’s plan to use the Babylonians to punish Judah, struggling to reconcile this with God’s nature. In Habakkuk 1:13, he expresses, “Your eyes are too pure to look on evil; you cannot tolerate wrongdoing. Why then do you tolerate the treacherous?” This dialogue illustrates that seeking clarity from God is a part of faith (Habakkuk 2:1-4).

• Thomas the Apostle’s Doubt: After the resurrection, Thomas refused to believe until he saw Christ’s wounds himself. In John 20:25, he says, “Unless I see the nail marks in His hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” Instead of condemning Thomas, Jesus invites him to touch His wounds, affirming that faith can grow through honest questioning (John 20:27-29).

Catholic Teachings on Doubt

The Catholic Church acknowledges that doubt can be a natural part of faith development. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2088-2089) distinguishes between:

• Involuntary Doubt – Hesitation in believing or difficulty in overcoming objections related to the faith. This can lead to spiritual growth when explored with sincerity.
• Voluntary Doubt – Willfully disregarding or rejecting what God has revealed and what the Church teaches. This can lead one away from faith.

Rather than rejecting those who doubt, the Church encourages engagement with Scripture, prayer, and theological study to seek clarity (CCC 158).

Embracing Questions as a Path to Deeper Faith

Questioning, when approached with humility and a genuine desire for understanding, can lead to a more profound and resilient faith. The Bible encourages believers to seek wisdom and understanding:

• James 1:5 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
• Mark 9:24 – The father of a possessed boy cries out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” showing that doubt and faith can coexist.
• Matthew 7:7 – “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

Engaging with doubts through prayer, study, and community discussion can strengthen one’s relationship with God.

Conclusion

Questioning God is not inherently wrong; it reflects a dynamic and seeking faith. Scriptural examples and Catholic teachings suggest that doubt, when navigated thoughtfully, can lead to spiritual growth and a deeper understanding of one's beliefs. Embracing questions as part of the faith journey allows individuals to develop a more authentic and robust relationship with the divine.

Saint Teresa of Calcutta: Radical Love in Everyday Holiness

 

Saint Teresa of Calcutta, better known to the world as Mother Teresa, had no desire to be famous. Her mission wasn’t to build an empire of charity or to have her face printed on prayer cards. All she ever wanted was to love Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poor — and to do it with her whole heart.

In our modern world, where holiness can feel distant and complicated, Teresa of Calcutta offers something radically simple: love the person in front of you. She taught — and lived — the truth that holiness isn’t about doing grand things, but about filling small acts with great love.

Love Begins at Home

One of Mother Teresa’s most famous reminders is that charity starts closest to you. Before we worry about solving global poverty, we’re called to love the people we live with, even when they’re difficult, even when they frustrate us, even when they fail to love us back. For her, the greatest tragedy wasn’t hunger or poverty — it was feeling unwanted.

"If you want to change the world, go home and love your family." — Saint Teresa of Calcutta

This message resonates deeply during Lent, a season when we’re invited to examine our hearts and how well we love. Our sacrifices mean nothing if they don’t make us more patient, more generous, more compassionate right where we are.

Loving the Poor Without Excuse

Teresa of Calcutta didn’t spend her life debating who deserved help or what made someone worthy of care. She believed every person had infinite dignity because every person bore the image of God. Her love was unconditional, practical, and fearless.

She taught her sisters — and the world — that no act of love is too small when it’s given freely. Holding a dying hand, offering a smile, feeding someone who had been ignored for days — these were her miracles.

A Saint for Ordinary Life

Walking Through Darkness: Teresa’s Long Night of the Soul

For much of her life, Saint Teresa of Calcutta experienced what spiritual writers call the dark night of the soul — a prolonged period where God felt painfully absent. Even as she cared for the poorest of the poor, she carried a private cross of profound interior dryness, feeling as though her prayers went unheard.

But Teresa didn’t run from this darkness. Instead, she made a radical choice to love God through trust, offering her emptiness as another gift. She believed that her spiritual darkness allowed her to understand the deep loneliness of those she served — those abandoned, rejected, and left to die alone.

Her dark night didn’t make her less holy — if anything, it made her a saint for all of us who struggle. She showed that faithfulness is not about feeling God all the time, but about choosing Him even when He seems far away. Through her long night, she taught the world that love is not just a feeling, but a decision — one we make over and over again.

What makes Saint Teresa so compelling is that her holiness wasn’t built on visions or mystical experiences (though she had a few). Instead, her holiness was forged in the daily grind of service — cleaning wounds, calming fears, praying through exhaustion, and choosing love again and again, especially when she felt nothing at all.

She understood that true faithfulness is showing up when it’s hard, loving when you’re empty, and trusting that God’s grace fills the gaps. If you’ve ever wondered how to be holy in the middle of laundry, doctor’s appointments, and long workdays, Mother Teresa is your guide.

Carrying Her Spirit Into Lent

This Lent, if you want to honor Saint Teresa’s legacy, don’t look for ways to make yourself miserable — look for ways to make your love more generous. Offer a meal, hold space for someone’s grief, speak with kindness when you’d rather be sharp, and most of all, see Christ in the people who are hardest to love.

Because for Teresa of Calcutta, holiness wasn’t complicated. It was love in action — here, now, no excuses.

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For more reflections on saints who walk beside us in everyday life, follow Converting to Hope.

Three Sacrifices of Lent: Prayer, Fasting, and Charity

 

Lent invites us into a season of sacrifice, but not the kind the world imagines. This isn’t about punishment or pointless deprivation — it’s about offering something beautiful to God. When we willingly sacrifice during Lent, we’re choosing to give a gift of love — not because God demands it, but because love always wants to give.

At the heart of Lent are three traditional sacrifices: prayer, fasting, and charity. Each one draws us deeper into relationship — with God, with ourselves, and with others. Let’s walk through what each sacrifice means, and why they’re not burdens, but invitations.

1. Prayer: A Gift of Time and Attention

When we give more time to prayer during Lent, we’re making a sacrifice of attention. In a world that constantly pulls our focus in every direction, choosing to pause and sit with God is a profound gift. We’re not just asking for things or checking a box — we’re offering our presence, our questions, our silence, our hearts.

Prayer during Lent doesn’t have to mean hours on your knees. It can be:

• A few minutes of silence in the morning before the day begins
• Praying with Scripture (Lectio Divina)
• Adding a daily Rosary or Divine Mercy Chaplet
• Honest conversation with God about where you are right now

Whatever form your prayer takes, the point is this: you’re giving God your attention because you love Him. That alone is a beautiful sacrifice.

2. Fasting: A Gift of Discipline and Desire

Fasting is one of the most misunderstood sacrifices. It’s not about hating your body or proving how strong you are — it’s about freeing your desires. When we fast, we practice letting go of immediate comfort so that our deeper hunger — for God, for meaning, for love — has space to rise.

Traditional fasting focuses on food, but you can also fast from:

• Social media
• Unnecessary spending
• Complaining
• Excessive screen time

Whatever you fast from, the heart of this sacrifice is offering God your desires, your willingness to wait, and your trust that He alone satisfies. It’s a gift that says: I want You more than this comfort.

3. Charity: A Gift of Compassion and Solidarity

Charity is sacrifice in action. It’s giving not just from abundance, but from a place that costs something — time, energy, attention, or resources. When we give to others, we are offering God our willingness to see His image in every person we meet.

Lenten charity might look like:

• Donating to a cause you care about
• Volunteering time you’d rather keep for yourself
• Writing letters to those who are isolated
• Practicing extraordinary kindness in daily life

This sacrifice is a reminder that love is never meant to stay locked inside us. It flows outward, and every act of charity becomes a gift placed directly into God’s hands.

Sacrifice is Love, Not Loss

If you remember nothing else about these Lenten sacrifices, remember this: they are not tests to pass or hoops to jump through. They are invitations into love that gives freely. When you pray, fast, and give, you’re not losing something — you’re offering your heart. And that is a gift God treasures more than you know.

When Prayer Feels Impossible: How to Find Your Way Back to God (Even if You’re Mad at Him)

 

There are times in every faith journey when prayer feels impossible. Maybe you’re too exhausted to form words. Maybe you’re angry at God and not sure you even want to talk to Him. Maybe you’ve been so disconnected for so long that you feel embarrassed to show up now.

If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not broken—you’re human. And you’re not alone. Every single saint, every single mystic, and every single ordinary believer has faced this. Spiritual dryness, anger, grief, exhaustion—none of it disqualifies you from God’s love. In fact, these very struggles are often the doorway into deeper, more honest prayer.

Start With the Smallest Step

The enemy of prayer is perfectionism. You don’t have to show up with beautiful words, deep insights, or even a clear head. Start with a sigh. A glance. A single sentence: God, I’m here, and I don’t know what to say. That counts. God Himself says, "I stand at the door and knock." Simply opening the door is enough.

Name the Block Out Loud

Sometimes the thing that stops us from praying is something we’re afraid to admit. Maybe you’re furious that a prayer went unanswered. Maybe you’re ashamed of something you’ve done. Maybe you just feel numb. Whatever it is, name it. Say it out loud, even if all you can manage is a whisper. God already knows, but naming it helps you break the silence—and science backs this up. Studies show that naming your emotions out loud activates the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for processing and regulating feelings. When you name what you’re feeling, you actually begin to regain control over it. Naming turns something overwhelming into something you can work with—and that’s a powerful first step toward prayer.

Use Other People’s Words

If your own words won’t come, borrow someone else’s. Pray the Psalms, which are full of messy, honest prayers—some of them angry, some of them broken-hearted, some full of praise and trust. Use a simple prayer like, Jesus, have mercy on me. You don’t have to invent prayer from scratch every time. Many parishes will even offer you a free booklet of prayers if you ask—something you can tuck in your bag or bedside table for those wordless days.

Find God Somewhere Other Than Words

Prayer isn’t always verbal. Sometimes you can find God in silence, music, nature, or art. Sit outside and watch the sky shift. Listen to a piece of music that stirs your heart. Light a candle and just be still. God is present in all of it.

Remember Who You’re Talking To

If you’ve grown up thinking God is a distant judge, prayer can feel like standing trial. But that’s not the God Jesus reveals. Jesus shows us a God who runs to meet prodigals, who welcomes the broken-hearted, who never tires of hearing our voices. You’re not performing for Him—you’re being held by Him.

Accept That Prayer Will Feel Different in Different Seasons

Prayer in grief isn’t like prayer in joy. Prayer in depression isn’t like prayer in peace. That’s okay. There’s no one right way to pray. The only mistake is thinking you have to get it right.

Trust That God Wants You Back

However long it’s been, however messy you feel, the door is always open. You don’t have to earn your way back into prayer. You just have to turn toward Him—even a little—and He’ll come running.

You were never meant to be perfect at prayer. You were meant to love and be loved.

How to Pray When You Don’t Know Where to Start (Or You’re Afraid You’ll Do It Wrong)

If you’ve ever thought, “I want to pray, but I have no idea how,” I want you to know you’re not alone—and you’re not failing. Prayer isn’t about getting the words perfect, and it’s definitely not about impressing God. Prayer is a conversation, and like any conversation, it grows over time.

I want to show you a few simple ways to start praying, especially if you’re afraid you’ll do it wrong (spoiler: you can’t). This is about showing up, not performing.

1. Start with the Honest Truth

Prayer doesn’t have to be fancy. Start with exactly where you are—messy thoughts and all.

You can say something like:

• “God, I’m not sure I believe in You, but I’m here.”

• “I don’t know what to say, but I want to talk to You.”

• “I’m tired and confused, but I think You might care.”

God isn’t grading you. He’s just glad you showed up.

2. Borrow Words from People Who’ve Been There

If silence feels too awkward, borrow a prayer that’s already stood the test of time. The Our Father is the prayer Jesus gave us Himself. Or try the Jesus Prayer, one of the oldest prayers in Christian history:

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

Prayers like these are anchors, steadying your heart when your own words feel out of reach.

3. Use Your Senses

Prayer isn’t just in your head—it’s embodied. Light a candle. Hold a rosary. Let your body help your soul focus.

Sometimes movement is prayer too—taking a walk, washing dishes, sitting quietly with your morning coffee while offering your day to God.

4. Ask God Questions

Conversations go both ways, and God isn’t afraid of your questions. Try asking:

• “Where were You when that happened?”

• “What do You want me to know about You today?”

• “How can I trust You when life feels like this?”

You might not get clear answers right away, but asking is part of the relationship—in fact, we have a whole practice called Lectio Divina where we read Scripture and ask God questions about what we’ve just read.

5. Explore Different Styles of Prayer

There’s no single way to pray—and the Church has preserved so many beautiful options to help you connect with God in the way that fits you best. Some people love Ignatian prayer, where you place yourself inside a Scripture story and imagine the sights, sounds, and emotions. Others prefer formal, concrete prayers like the Rosary or Liturgy of the Hours. Some gravitate toward silent meditation, simply sitting with God, while others find their rhythm through spontaneous, conversational prayer.

Don’t be afraid to try different styles and see what helps you open your heart to God.

6. Don’t Worry About the Mood

Some people expect prayer to always feel holy and peaceful. It doesn’t. Sometimes it feels boring, awkward, even frustrating. That’s normal.

Prayer isn’t about manufacturing feelings. It’s about showing up, no matter the mood.

The Only Wrong Prayer is the One You Don’t Pray

If you remember nothing else, I want you to remember this: There is no wrong way to reach for God. Whether you use formal prayers or stumbling words, sit in silence or cry in frustration—it all counts.

God is less interested in how you pray than in the simple fact that you do.

Want more encouragement to build your own messy, beautiful prayer life? Follow Converting to Hope for honest conversations and practical help for your walk with God.