Peace in Delays: When You’re Still Waiting on Your Annulment

Everyone else is being received into the Church next week. We’re still waiting.

My husband and I have been in OCIA for months. We’ve walked this journey with deep commitment and real anticipation. And now, as others prepare for sacraments, we’ve been asked to wait—not because our faith isn’t strong, but because our annulment paperwork is still in process.

If you're in a similar place, I want to share what we're learning—and how this waiting can still be holy.

You Belong Right Now

Being asked to wait doesn’t mean you’re less ready. It doesn’t mean you’re not faithful enough. It doesn’t mean you’ve missed your moment.

It means the Church is slow. And sometimes, slow is sacred.

The annulment process is one of the hardest parts of entering the Catholic Church as an adult. It’s slow, deeply personal, and often requires you to revisit pain you’ve already worked through. When you finally submit the paperwork, you want it to be done. You want to move forward.

But sometimes God asks us to wait even after we've said yes.

This Delay Is Not Rejection

You are not spiritually sidelined. You are not in limbo. You are not being punished.

This delay is not about your worth. It’s not about shame. It’s not about being seen as less-than. It is simply the Church’s legal process doing what it must.

And even within that process, God is working.

Let the Longing Become Holy

My husband and I have been walking this road together. When we joined OCIA, we knew we’d have to wait for our annulments, but we didn’t realize how it would feel—watching others move forward while we stood still.

The first time someone asked if we were getting confirmed with the group, I smiled and said, “Not yet.” But inside, it stung. Because we’ve shown up for everything. We’ve prayed, studied, committed. We believe this is home. And still, we wait.

There have been moments where I felt angry—not at God, but at the process. It felt like a disconnect between what we knew in our hearts and what the paperwork allowed. It felt like love and obedience weren't enough. And it’s hard to sit with that tension.

But I had to reframe it.

Waiting doesn’t mean denial. It means preparation. It means our wedding vows, our shared faith, our family’s journey—none of that was unseen. It’s being folded into something larger than we can yet name.

The ache hasn’t disappeared. But it’s become sacred. And when the day comes that we kneel side by side and receive Him fully, it won’t be a patch. It will be fulfillment.

Because I know what it costs to get there.

Your Yes Still Matters

You are not in spiritual pause. You are in preparation.

Every day you keep showing up—at Mass, in prayer, in community—you are living out your yes. Every time you wrestle with doubt but choose to stay, you are echoing Mary’s fiat. And God sees it.

You are not forgotten. You are not on the outside. You are walking the long road, and it is holy.

What the Church Actually Teaches About Annulments

It’s easy to feel like the annulment process is some kind of test, or worse—a judgment on your past. But the Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that marriage is a sacrament, and as such, it must be entered into freely, fully, faithfully, and fruitfully (CCC 1625–1632: Catechism of the Catholic Church - The Celebration of Matrimony). An annulment isn’t a declaration that your past relationship was meaningless. It’s an acknowledgment that something essential was missing when that marriage began.

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) affirms that annulments exist to uphold the dignity of the sacrament—not to punish people. Their FAQ on annulments clarifies that a declaration of nullity is not about erasing a past but about understanding it in light of Church teaching.

And while it’s hard to wait, the Code of Canon Law (can. 1066–1067: Code of Canon Law - Title VII: Marriage) outlines the Church’s responsibility to investigate a person’s freedom and readiness for sacramental marriage. This isn’t bureaucracy for its own sake—it’s the Church taking marriage seriously, the way God does.

These teachings don’t erase the ache. But they remind us that the ache itself can be part of a holy journey.

Books to Deepen Your Journey

Our One Great Act of Fidelity: Waiting for Christ in the Eucharist by Fr. Ronald Rolheiser beautifully explores the sacredness of waiting and presence, particularly in relationship to the Eucharist. If you’re struggling with feeling left behind or unsure how to hold the tension of delay, this book offers deep spiritual insight and comfort.

Annulments & the Catholic Church: Straight Answers to Tough Questions by Dr. Edward Peters is a must-read for anyone confused or overwhelmed by the annulment process. It gives honest, compassionate answers and helps you feel less alone in the waiting.

Every Step Has Value

If you're still waiting, know this: the waiting isn't wasted. Every Mass you attend without receiving, every time you kneel and pray with longing in your heart, every time you say yes to the journey even when it aches—that matters. It is not filler. It is formation.

In this season of delay, I’ve come to believe that waiting is not the absence of grace, but one of the ways grace enters. Slower, quieter—but no less real.

There is value in the patience you’re learning, the humility you’re practicing, the tenderness you’re holding for others who don’t know how hard this part is. There is value in resisting the urge to disappear. There is value in staying connected, even when it feels like everyone else has moved ahead.

You are not behind. You are being deepened.

Final Thought: Let This Be Yours

When your annulment is granted and you are received into the Church, it will not be a consolation prize. It will not be a makeup moment. It will be your own sacred beginning.

And maybe—just maybe—it will be even more beautiful because it wasn’t rushed.

You are loved. You are seen. You are on your way.

For more stories of conversion and Catholic life, visit Converting to Hope