First Confession for Converts: What to Expect and How to Prepare

For many converts, First Confession can feel like the most intimidating step toward full communion with the Church. I know it was for my husband and me. It’s not just the logistics—walking into a confessional, remembering what to say—but the weight of a lifetime of sins, the uncertainty of how deep to go, and the worry that something will be forgotten or done incorrectly. If you’re feeling anxious, know this: you are not alone. Every single person who has ever gone to confession has felt some level of nervousness, especially the first time.

But here’s the most important thing to remember: Confession is not about perfect performance—it’s about mercy. You’re not going into an interrogation. You’re going into an encounter with God’s love, a moment where grace meets repentance and restores what sin has broken. You are stepping into the embrace of a Father who has been waiting for you—not with judgment, but with joy.

Why Do Converts Need to Confess Everything?

Unlike those baptized in the Church as infants, converts are often coming from years—even decades—of life outside of sacramental grace. That means First Confession is not just about the last week or month, but your entire life up to baptism (if you were previously baptized) or up to the present (if you are unbaptized and will be receiving baptism instead). The Church asks this of converts not to burden them, but to offer them complete freedom, complete forgiveness, and a brand-new beginning.

It sounds overwhelming, but remember: God already knows everything. He is not surprised or shocked by your sins. He has been with you through every moment of your life, seeing both your struggles and your victories, your wounds and your strengths. Your job isn’t to produce a perfect legal document of every sin you’ve ever committed. Your job is to come with a sincere heart, confessing what you know, and trusting in God’s mercy for what you may have forgotten. His grace is bigger than your memory.

How to Prepare for Your First Confession

1. Do an Examination of Conscience – Take time to reflect on your life and where you’ve fallen short. Many parishes provide guides based on the Ten Commandments or the Beatitudes. You don’t need to recall every minor mistake, but focus on patterns of sin and serious choices that distanced you from God. If you’re unsure whether something is a sin, bring it up with the priest—he is there to help.

2. Write Things Down (If It Helps) – Some people find it helpful to make a short list of what they want to confess. You can bring it in with you and refer to it so you don’t get flustered. Just remember to destroy it afterward—your sins belong to God’s mercy, not to a forgotten scrap of paper in your pocket.

3. Choose the Right Setting – Confession can be done face-to-face or behind a screen. If you’re nervous, you may find comfort in anonymity. If you want guidance, a face-to-face conversation with a compassionate priest may be best. Either way, the grace is the same.

4. Remember the Structure, But Don’t Panic If You Forget – A basic confession follows this format:

   • Begin with: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession.”
   • List your sins briefly and honestly.
   • The priest may offer some guidance or encouragement.
   • He will give you a penance—something to pray or do as an act of repentance.
   • He will then ask you to say an Act of Contrition. If you don’t remember it, don’t worry! The priest will help you.
   • He will absolve you, and your sins will be forgiven.

5. Trust in the Power of the Sacrament – You don’t need to feel forgiven to be forgiven. Whether you walk out feeling light as air or still processing what just happened, the reality is the same: Your sins are gone. You are fully reconciled to God.

Common Fears About First Confession (And Why You Don’t Need to Worry)

• “What if I forget something important?” – If you make an honest effort to confess everything you remember, any sins you accidentally forget are forgiven too. If something serious comes to mind later, just bring it up in your next confession.
• “What if my sins are too bad?” – There is no sin greater than God’s mercy. Priests have heard everything, and their role is to be a minister of Christ’s love, not a judge. Your job is not to shock him, but to open your heart to God’s healing grace.
• “What if I don’t feel different after?” – That’s okay. The sacraments are objective—they don’t depend on emotions. Trust in what God has done, even if you don’t have a dramatic experience. Some people feel an immediate sense of peace, while others take time to process it. What matters is that God’s mercy is real, no matter how you feel.

What Comes Next? Living in God’s Grace

The beauty of confession is that it is not just about wiping the slate clean—it is about renewal. You are not just walking out forgiven; you are walking out strengthened to live in the grace of God. That doesn’t mean you won’t struggle with sin again, but now you have a path back to God whenever you fall. Confession is not just an ending. It’s a beginning.

Make it a habit to go to confession regularly. Many Catholics go monthly, some even weekly, but at minimum, the Church asks us to go at least once a year (especially during Lent). Confession is not a punishment or a chore—it is a gift, a sacrament that pours out grace each and every time you receive it. The more you go, the more you will come to experience it not as something to fear, but as a wellspring of peace, healing, and closeness with God.

Final Thoughts: Stepping Into Mercy

Your first confession is not an exam you have to pass. It is an invitation to mercy, a moment when God welcomes you home with open arms. No matter what is in your past, you are not defined by your sins—you are defined by God’s love. He has been calling you to this moment for longer than you know. He delights in your return.

So, step forward in trust. Let grace do its work. And walk out of that confessional fully forgiven, fully free, and fully His.